A perspective on time (Experiments with literature - 1)

There were once a bunch of people who didn't know each other. They were only kids. Without much insight or maturity they squabbled and played everyday. Learning new things, doing new things, together.

Together they grew up and learnt to love, hate and live with and without each other. They learnt to respect each other. Some grew in and out of friendships. Some bonded even more. Some drifted apart slowly, some suddenly.

By the end of all the long years that passed by, they were no more the little kids that wondered about flowers or outer space, they were no more the adventurous rascals that they used to be. They were no longer forgiving nor small.

They all grew up.

Forever

Some forever's need only last a lifetime.

Balance

Light and shade. While one side bathes in pure white light, the other side is a crossword of shadows and reflected light from the streetlights beyond the windows. I sit in the middle playing my music of lost notes and melodies from happy concerts from years ago. Contemplating between shaving a lazy beard and some waffle fries, I sit in my big black chair noticing the utter lack of activity around me. There also lies my guitar...waiting. But I cannot play it today. My amp's died on me.

A sudden silence jars you between songs in a playlist. What if it was the other way around? What if music was always there. And people played silences?

Writing has become difficult these days. It was easier when I started out. There are expectations now not only from other people, but from myself. I judge each topic, worry about its relevance, its stature and sometimes about the repercussions of writing something. I do not write unbound. I cannot. Instead, I'm waiting to push the envelope. To translate myself to another plane none higher or lesser, but simply different. I want to write beyond everyday things, beyond the past or the future, beyond current events. Beyond even the storm of thoughts that come to me. I'm looking to elevate. But I cannot. For now, I simply continue.

What is it that I am preparing myself for? I am eager to see the future than ever before. As if I were a teenager looking to see what the other side of legal looks like. I know I stand importantly at an important cusp of life. I am not thinking too much. Everybody makes these choices. Everybody thinks about their future.

Balance will find itself. Happiness and contentment have a habit of germinating in all circumstances. One way or another, we accept our status quo and move on. I think I need a shave. Excuse me, haan?

Two songs

Broken guitar blues

Someone please mend my broken guitar

O someone please mend my broken guitar

Its been lying around broken for a while now

Ive still got to play it though, its the only one ive got

Someone please mend my broken guitar

O someone please mend my broken guitar

Oh I can still play this ol' guitar

but it dont sound like it used to before

Now Ive got it fixed and it looks brand new

See how I show it off to my friends

I play it in the garden and in my room

I hear the notes much better now and I aint blue no more

The guitar finds me (where's your guitar, boy?)

All the peoples askin me

boy, wheres your guitar?

Everybodys askin me

boy, where is your guitar?

And I keep looking around

Oh how am I going to show them my new song

without my guitar, without my guitar

Im just an ordinary boy

And Im still looking around

But my baby she tells me dont you worry boy

you can play your song to me later

dont you worry boy

dont you worry at all

I dont find the guitar

but the guitar finds me

I dont find the guitar no

the guitar finds me

and I play my new song

for everyone to hear

I'm a survivor

I have survived 14 years of schooling, and two engineering degrees. Madness intact.

Because

I must.

Tilted perspectives

After all the music has been played all day, the silence returns you to sanity. It returns you to reality. And you are reminded that you are home, safe - for now. Food has been had. The work has been done. You have done all you could. The week waits.

A good nights sleep is in order. You have even stopped noticing the room, things around you as you lie in bed waiting to sleep. Now you just crash.

How hard is it knowing you dont read as much as you used to? How cool is it that you can play the guitar so well now? How sad is it that you're not interested in your studies anymore? Very.

There they lie ahead of you. Your job, your future, your relationships. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

I am going to wait. And then I am going to grab it by the balls and make it all work.

Trivial Post

I see things are different now. There is change in the air. There is change in outlook and expectations from life. Even though an average day still sounds the same on paper, I know my mind thinks differently. There is a constructive thought that builds my week, that plans my future - however uncertain.

There arise questions, of essence. I do not fail to answer them, but the answers are not what they should be. There needs to a change in focus. Somethings need to be held more important than others. Not the other way around.

One must find time for himself again. One must find time to be alone, for even though one still makes things happen, and manages his priorities well, there are things to go back to. Its time to go back to what works.

One way street

Here we go again. There are no fixed schedules. There is no dearth of things to be done. This is ahmedabad traffic. Stuff is flying at you from all directions on a way street. You are expected to maneuver. You are expected to swerve. You are expected to make your own way.

Wait for your turn. No one succeeds all the time. You are only looking at constant success. Look at everyone, everyone gets a chance. Fail now. Unfail out of it later.

The expectations build up. Everyone performs. A perfect life. Seek it. Dont expect it to come too easily.

Now you miss it dont you? What youve always avoided. A routine. There is comfort in routine. This is why you need to have one. It makes progress slow. It makes progress sure. Its time to go back and look at what youve done from the past. A forward view. Dont look back. Its probably the wrong way to see it. But I could be wrong myself.

Bigger things are at stake here. Life is at stake. Or is it? Its time to look for answers not in fate, not in the future, but in the past. In the present. There is a way. Your way. It is difficult to imagine a life otherwise. Which is why you are not scared. Why I hold success lower than happiness I dont know. It seems logical for one to follow the other. It is not success I seek. It is a way to find happiness. There is an optimal solution. This is exactly not the solution. There is justification again. Go figure. I am willing to make a lot of sacrifices. But life has changed. There are no easy choices anymore.

This is a one way street. It leads to success and prosperity. But it hides a lot of things. It hides pain. Learn to bear it. And then bear it.

No

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